The Talk

      There are so many milestones that we as parents anticipate with our children. We can hardly wait for them to roll over, crawl,walk, speak their first words, etc. There are also things we dread as parents. Sleepless night for weeks or even months, taking them to get shots, potty training, their first injury, another kid being mean to them, etc.
      One of the milestones I have feared as my children have gotten older is, "The Talk."  More and more of my friends have been sharing their experiences of talking withe their children about sex and their bodies, mostly they are hilarious and fun conversations, but deep down I'm always dreading my turn.  There was an article in the Ensign (our church magazine) about the importance of talking to our children and being open about this taboo topic between parent and child.  I read it absorbing every bit of advise I could get as I prepare  for the moment it was my turn. My fear is not embarrassment over the topic. If you know me and my family it is not something we are scared to talk about. My fear is that if I don't do it right I am going to permanently damage my child for life. They could end up thinking it's the greatest thing ever and run out and find a partner.  They could be completely disgusted and decide to stay celibate for the rest of their lives. They could think I am completely repulsive and never want to talk to me about it when he has questions.  They may be confused and look elsewhere for answers.  Do you comprehend my fear yet? Can you see why I am terrified?
      So, my darling son Landon is almost nine.I think he's the cutest thing on earth, don't you? I love him to death. One of my favorite qualities about him is his innocence and the fact that he is so literal. Because of these wonderful facts, I have assumed I would have a couple of years before the topic was mentioned or I thought he knew what sex was.
   The other morning Ryan and I were up getting ready for the day while the kids were still sleeping. Ryan made a comment about my comfy pajamas and how hideous they are, (They are one of those giant t-shirt pajamas. True they aren't cute, but they are so comfortable.) We then continued to debate sleepwear and I said, "What you think I should find some sexy pajamas to where every night?"  Well, fast forward thirty minutes. We are all in my room after having family prayer when Landon says, "Mom, you and dad should close your door when you are talking. I heard what you said." My mind began reeling and I ask him what he heard. He said with a smirk on his face, "You know... sexy pajamas." I then proceeded to tell him that dad hates my pajamas and that he things I should get new ones. Izzy and Landon both reassured me that they love my pajamas and who cares what dad thinks. Then Landon says, "Yeah, besides the prophet says sex is bad." My heart stuttered hearing the word "sex" come out of my child's mouth and then I said, "No, the prophet did not say that sex is bad. Sex is okay when you are married." Landon replied with the most repulsed looking face, "Disgusting," and then he ran out of the room.
    Quickly, I called Ryan and repeated the conversation to him in sheer panic. Ryan's response, no surprise, was "Honey, I will be with you and hold your hand the whole time you talk to him about it." Thanks a lot, Ryan. It will be better that way anyway since Ryan can barely talk about it himself.
   I spent the rest of the day, wondering what vulgar third grader had introduced this topic and what they said. The spent my remaining hours preparing myself to give him the talk.  I talked to my sister Melissa about it and then she panicked that she might have to talk to her daughter too. She even told me that if he knows about it, I had to find a way to ask him if Haley knows too.  By the time Landon got home I was pumped to do this. Once everyone was in the house, I turned on a show for the girls and asked Landon to come with me to his room. I made small talk and then I looked at him...this is what he looks like....

The problem is, I don't see that. I see this...

    Taking a deep breath and trying to look as nonchalant as possible I asked, "Landon who told you that the prophet said sex is bad?" He shrugged his shoulders, and said, "I don't know." In my sweet calm motherly voice I said, "I'm not mad, I just want to know where you heard it." He looked at me perplexed, "I don't know, mom. I don't even know what that means." Feeling slightly relieved I asked, "What do you think sex means?" His response was my dream come true, "You know... being immodest." The grin spread quickly across my face. "Oh okay, you can go eat your snack now." He smiled and jumped up to go and eat his snack. Once he was gone, I jumped from the bed with a bounce in my step and did the happy dance. Then I called Melissa to relieve her of her fears too. 

    The joy that I felt knowing that my baby boy was still innocent and unaware of the birds and bees was bursting from every pore. I know the time is not far, and I am going to have to bite the bullet, but I am content to wait a little longer and enjoy my eight year old in all of his naivety a little longer while he snuggles up with me on the couch every day.